


Once & Future; best avoided

by Tari_Sue



Series: Camelot Land [8]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1913394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tari_Sue/pseuds/Tari_Sue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Merlin had to do was drop some files off at his boss's house. He got a little more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Once & Future; best avoided

**Title:** Once  & Future, best avoided  
 **Prompts:** Valiant, The Once and Future Queen, Excalibur, A Servant of Two Masters, The Kindness of Strangers, Sweet Dreams, Beauty and the Beast  
 **Word Count:** 3680  
 **Rating:** 15? 18? I dunno.  
 **Pairings (if any):** Merlin/Arthur  
 **Warnings:** Silliness and bad writing.  
 **Summary:** All Merlin had to do was drop some files off at his boss's house. He got a little more than he bargained for.

Just gone eight. Not too bad, only half an hour late…

Eight seventeen. Is this even the right road? He’s been up and down it three times already.

Damn it.

Damn it damn it damn it. This is Camelot Drive.

Eight twenty-nine.

Camelot Avenue. What was the number again?

Eight forty-six. How has it taken him nearly an hour to find Arthur’s house?

That’s Arthur’s car. Shit. Merlin is so dead, Arthur demanded these layouts no later than half seven, it’s nearly nine o’ clock!

Maybe he should just push them through the letterbox?

It’s Friday night, Arthur might have gone out.

No such luck. There is music playing in the background and Merlin can hear people laughing. Arthur is clearly having some sort of party. Merlin can’t disturb that; Arthur will kill him.

Ring the bell, just in case, then shove them through the door and run.

The papers won’t fit. Fuck. Should have split them into bundles. They are now stuck halfway through the letterbox. Buggerit.

Shit, someone’s coming.

“Merlin? What the _fuck_ are you doing?” Arthur looks irritated. It’s his default expression.

“Arthur! I, er…” Merlin gives the stack of documents one good tug and they come free of the door with a jolt. “Um, hi! Ow,” he says from his new position on the floor. This is so not what he imagined when he landed the job at Once & Future Advertising.

“In what world does this look like half past seven to you, Merlin?” Arthur puts his hand out for the papers.

“I, um, got lost,” Merlin replies, handing over the files before attempting to stand up.

“Lost? In Suburbia? Remind me again why I employ you?” Arthur has bare feet, Merlin can’t help but notice.

“Hey, that’s not fair! The work got done, didn’t it?” He surreptitiously tries to rub the mud off his backside from where he landed as he gets to his knees.

“Come on, Arthur!” A woman’s voice calls from within the house. “Oh, hello Merlin,” Morgana says as she steps into view. “Arthur, you never told me you’d invited Merlin, how delightful. Although you could have let him in before getting down to business.” She raises one eyebrow at Merlin and smirks.

Belatedly Merlin realises he is still on his knees before Arthur and blushes as he realises how this must look. He quickly scrambles to his feet. “Um, hi Morgana, sorry, I was just leaving.”

“Leaving? Nonsense. At least come in for a drink.”

“Morgana!” Arthur says, a warning note in his voice.

“Um,” Merlin says, glancing at Arthur’s face and deciding not to incur his wrath. “Thanks, but I really should get going.”

A vice like grip is suddenly around Merlin’s wrist, blood-red talons digging into his skin. “No, really, Merlin, I insist. One little drink won’t kill you and I’m guessing you walked here or you wouldn’t have been so late. You must be thirsty.”

Before he can do anything to stop her, Merlin finds himself abducted off the street and dragged into his boss’s house by his boss’s scary sister, know through out the company as The Once & Future Queen Bee. Arthur’s father may be CEO, Arthur himself may be MD, but there is only one person in charge at Once & Future.

“I, um, er…” Merlin says eloquently as he looks around the hallway of Arthur’s big house. There is laughter and music and other noises that can’t possibly be what they sound like coming from all the rooms. Merlin finds himself blushing at what he imagines he hears.

“Here, you look rather warm, give me your coat.” Morgana manhandles Merlin out of his jacket and hands it off to a minion before Merlin can even think to protest. “Have some champers.”

Morgana indicates a table just inside the door. There are several proper champagne flutes filled with what might actually be proper champagne, as opposed to the Aldi cava that his mum buys in for special occasions. As Merlin moves forward to take a glass he notices some small bowls of peanuts and crisps and gladly takes a few.

He nearly chokes on his crisps as he notices what is in some of the other bowls on the table. Small multi-coloured square packets looking almost like sweet except for the two distinctive logos.

‘Excalibur’, proclaim the squares closest to him. They did the advertising for Excalibur condoms two months ago. Merlin never did like the ‘Sheath Your Sword’ tagline, pointing out that Excalibur was the sword, not the scabbard. He had shut up when Arthur asked him if he considered himself a sword or a scabbard.

The other logo, Valiant, was the subject of the advertising layouts he’s just been trying to shove through Arthur’s letterbox. Ironic really, when the whole point of Valiant is to stop things sticking.

Why on earth does Arthur have lube and condoms on his hall table? Ok, so he probably got them gratis, but seriously, on the hall table?

The noises from the rest of the house came back to him and he looks around to see Morgana smirking at him and Arthur looking like he’s about to have an aneurism.

At that point two giggling females clad only in very skimpy underwear tumble giggling from one of the rooms to the left.

“Arthur, come on, we want to try the swing before Catrina and Alator hog it all night again,” the blonder of the two says, rubbing her self up against Arthur in a way that Merlin doesn’t like at all.

“Sorry, Viv, why don’t you two have a go without me,” Arthur replies, gently trying to push the girl away.

“Don’t be silly, Arthur! What fun would that be without a man?” the other girl says, pouting as she winds herself around Arthur’s other side. She has an annoying babyish voice and is clearly trying to hide a northern accent. Merlin takes an instant dislike to her.

“Sophia…” Arthur starts, trying to disentangle himself from both women.

“Oh darling, there are plenty of fun things you can do in life without a man,” Morgana interrupts. “But, if you are that desperate for cock, I have some lovely strap-ons you could try.”

Merlin absolutely does not snort champagne out of his nose. Both Sophia and Vivian shoot him disdainful looks whilst Morgana doesn’t even try not to laugh.

“Arthur, I thought these gatherings were supposed to be exclusive,” the first blonde, Vivian simpers at Arthur who finally manages to shake her off him. “

“Don’t worry yourself,” the other says to Merlin as she also lets go of Arthur. “No one is so ‘desperate for cock’ that they’d touch yours. Come on Viv, let’s go and find some real men.” The two women link arms and flounce off back the way they came.

“Um…” Merlin says again. Hell, the way he’s going no one would think he’d wanted to work in advertising because of his way with words. “So, is this… um…”

“Yes, darling, this is very much ‘um’,” Morgana says, patting his arm. “Now, come with me, no pun intended, darling, you’re not my type; too much cock and not enough boob.”

Merlin sends Arthur a panicked look that is meant to convey ‘help me!’ as Morgana drags him towards the highly dubious sounding party. Arthur, however, just stands there doing nothing. Merlin is not sure what he expected; this is Arthur’s party, he probably wouldn’t know what Merlin was making a fuss about.

In the room she’s led him to, everything is pretty much as Merlin feared. There are people, many of whom he is sure he works with, in various stages of undress involved in various _activities_.

It’s not even like they are the sort of people Merlin would have expected. He’s met Arthur’s friends, they are gorgeous, like Arthur. If the people here had been like Percy or Gwaine or Elyan or Leon then Merlin might have joined in quite enthusiastically, but they are most definitely not.

Over in the corner is Agravaine DuBois, Arthur’s uncle and the Financial Director of Once & Future. King of creepy. He’s wearing nothing at all and is getting enthusiastically spanked by a woman dressed as a dominatrix who looks suspiciously like the singer Helen Mora who won the X-Factor last year. Beauty and the Beast, Merlin can’t help but think.

Over on the couch is the terrifying Head of Accounts, Charles Aredian, and Merlin looks away quickly before he is scared for life and quickly downs half a glass of expensive champagne, coughing as it burns his throat. Merlin’s face must be pillarbox-red by now; things like this simply don’t happen in Ealdor.

Merlin’s not a prude, he’s really not, but hell this is not how he was expecting his evening to turn out. And for all the fantasies he may or may not have had about his boss, he really isn’t sure he wants to watch Arthur having casual sex with a bunch of ditzy blonde women or dirty old men. He ignores the voice that says he just wants Arthur to have sex with him and only him.

“Merlin, do you know Mordred?” Morgana asks as the man in question comes into view wearing only a studded collar.

“Uh, yeah,” Merlin replies, taking a smaller sip of champagne and trying not to choke as the bubbles go up his nose. He knows Mordred alright, Mordred has never forgiven him for landing the job as Arthur’s PA while Mordred is stuck in telesales. It’s laughable really, Merlin didn’t even want the job, he wants to working advertising, not coffee making.

“Mordred, darling, why don’t you show Merlin here how we welcome newcomers to our parties?”

Mordred gives Merlin a sly grin and sinks to his knees in front of him, reaching for the fly of Merlin’s trousers.

“Uh, no! It’s fine!” Merlin squeaks, backing away and accidentally spilling the little remaining champagne in his glass on Mordred. “You don’t need to do that!” Hell, Mordred would probably bite his dick off. The other man glares daggers at Merlin and stalks off.

“Would you prefer a girl?” Morgana asks frowning. “I definitely had you pegged for boys. Although, speaking of pegging, I wasn’t kidding about the strap-ons, if you’re interested.” The sight of Queen Bee waggling her eyebrows suggestively is one that Merlin will be having nightmares about

“No!” Merlin practically shouts. The very idea of sex with the Once & Future Queen Bee is enough to make his bollocks want to climb back up into his body. “I mean, men, I like men, definitely men.”

“Morgana, leave him alone.” Finally! Arthur is stepping in to help him!

“What’s the matter, little brother, afraid I might break your toy?”

“He’s not my toy, he’s my assistant.”

“Tomayto/tomato,” Morgana says with a flip of her hand, clearly growing bored with this conversation.

“Why don’t you run along and find someone else to victimise – Mordred is looking rather lonely over there.”

Merlin makes the mistake of glancing over to where Arthur indicated. Mordred is clearly a fast mover and has his tongue down the throat of a bloke with long hair.

“Hmm, I don’t recall giving him permission,” Morgana says, her eyes narrowing. “I must find Morgause and tell her Cenred is playing with her toys again. Don’t you two stand around like a pair of stiffs all night will you.” Morgana glides away in search of her half sister and Merlin can’t help but find it weird that she holds orgies with her siblings present.

“A sure way to get rid of Morgana or Morgause, tell them their little pet is misbehaving.”

“Pet?”

“Mordred. He’s what you might call a servant of two masters. Two very tyrannical sadistic masters.”

“Mistresses. A servant of two scary mistresses.”

“Never let my sister know you are scared of her.”

“I’m pretty sure she figured it out, I’m human, of course I’m scared of your sisters.”

“Sister. Morgause is not related to me.”

“Isn’t it weird inviting your own sister to an orgy?”

“It’s her party. It has next to nothing to do with me.”

“I thought it was your house?”

“It is. They pissed off their own neighbours with these parties so now they decided to piss off mine.”

“Hmm, thoughtful. So, are you… participating?” Merlin asks, not sure what answer he wants Arthur to give.”

“Kinky sex with strangers and people I work with? Nah, think I pass.”

“Oh,” Merlin’s hopes plummet. Of course Arthur doesn’t sleep with people he works with. Definitely not Merlin, why would someone like Arthur want someone like Merlin?

“Can I get you another drink?” Arthur asks awkwardly.

“Are you trying to get me drunk?” Merlin responds, holding out his glass anyway.

“Yes, _Mer_ lin, even at one of Morgana’s parties I need to get people drunk in order to sleep with them,” Arthur says as he snags another couple of glasses from a nearby table.

“But I work with you, so I’m safe, you don’t want to sleep with me.” Merlin tries to quash the little flicker of hope that won’t go away.

“I could make an exception, if you wanted me to?” And damn it all to hell, a voice that posh shouldn’t be so sexy. “After all, it would be a bit sad if you came to one of Morgana’s parties and didn’t get a shag out of it.”

Arthur is giving him this smile that makes Merlin’s insides flip flop and he is plagued with indecision. On the one hand he wants Arthur, very much so, and he is desperate to say yes to whatever Arthur is offering. His eyes slide back over to Mordred who is now on his knees in front of the long-haired man and another man is circling round behind him.

On the other hand, this situation is not _how_ he wants Arthur. He wants the whole deal. This is more suited to Gwaine, casual shag, check. Who could turn that down? But Arthur? Hell, he’s been half in love with Arthur for the last six months.

“I mean, you don’t have to, with me, if that’s not what you want.” Arthur actually starts to look a little unsure of himself.

If he turns Arthur down now he may never get another chance.

“Well, there is only one person here I’d touch with a barge pole…” Merlin trails off and shrugs, the words in his head sounding too stupid to voice.

“Gaius?” Arthur asks, raising one eyebrow in imitation.

Merlin chokes on his drink again. “Please tell me Gaius is not here.”

“No, not really his scene.”

“This wasn’t exactly what I had planned for tonight. I was going to drop the files off and then go home and watch Game of Thrones with a pizza. This is all somewhat unexpected.

“Well, you could still leave. Or you could stay here and be Mordred for the night?”

Merlin glances back over to where he last saw Mordred. He is still there, the two men pull away quickly as Morgana and Morgause enter the room. Morgause has an evil looking paddle in her hand.

“This is what you get for enjoying the kindness of strangers without permission, darling,” Morgana tells Mordred sweetly.

“Shite, no! I don’t want to be Mordred!” Merlin yelps. “Is he ok? Shouldn’t we help him?”

“He likes it,” Arthur replies with a shrug.

“If you say so.” Mordred certainly doesn’t seem to be trying to get away, and from the way he starts wriggling and moaning when the paddle strikes his pert backside, ‘enjoying it’ might be an understatement.

“I’ve made the mistake of trying to intervene before,” Arthur says. “Mordred yelled at me for interfering – trust me, that boy can look after himself, they don’t do anything he doesn’t want.

Merlin looks doubtfully over at the trio and their onlookers. “Maybe I should just leave. I’m not sure this is really my scene.”

“Alternatively, I could show you my room.” Arthur’s boyish grin is infectious.

“Oh you could, could you?” Merlin tries not to grin back.

“Yes, as my servant you can clean it for me.” Arthur grabs Merlin’s hand and leads him to the door.

“I’m _not_ your servant!” Merlin argues, allowing himself to be led out. He does his best to ignore the open doorway of the opposite room where Scary Nimueh from the American Office is on a sort of swing contraption suspended from the ceiling.

Arthur makes his way to the stairs, grabbing a handful of condoms as he goes. “You’d make a lousy servant anyway.”

“Yes, I’ll leave that sort of kinky shit to Mordred.”

“Hmm, does that mean you won’t let me fuck you?” Arthur stops on the first step and leans down to kiss Merlin.

“Maybe _I’ll_ fuck _you_ ,” Merlin murmurs into his mouth.

“Hmm, maybe you will,” Arthur says as he pulls away and practically drags Merlin up the stairs.

“Here we are.” Arthur pulls a key out of his pocket and opens the door. At Merlin’s look of askance he says, “Well I wasn’t going to let have free rein with every room, was I?” He locks the door after them. Locked in a room with Arthur Pendragon, not bad going.

“Uh-huh,” Merlin says. “Well I’m only really here to try out this fabulous bed.”  
Arthur’s room has the biggest bed Merlin has ever seen.

He flings himself on the giant mattress, feeling it dip as Arthur joins him. Leaning over he kisses Arthur, trying to convey that this is more than just a one-time thing for him too.

Before he knows it, Arthur has flipped them over and is pressing kisses down Merlin’s neck and grinding his erection into Merlin’s leg. Merlin groans and reaches down to undo Arthur’s fly before undoing his own and pushing his work-trousers off. Arthur sits up and shrugs out of his own clothes.

Damn but Arthur is pretty.

It was always obvious that he had a good physique under the suits, even more so under the casual jeans and t-shirt tonight, but no has the right to look like that surely. Merlin usually is not too worried about his own body, but next to Arthur he looks like a scarecrow.

“I’ve wanted you for ages,” Arthur says, kneeling back on the bed and shuffling over to Merlin. “You are exactly my type.”

“Your type is skinny with big ears and big feet?”

“Yep. I like ‘em skinny with big ears and big feet and black hair and blue eyes and called Merlin.”

“Is that all?”

“And a nice long cock,” Arthur says, reaching out and stroking Merlin’s actually quite normal-sized cock. Merlin doesn’t correct him. “I can’t wait to feel this in me.”

“Oh, you will,” Merlin catches Arthur by surprise as he flips them over and begins to kiss his way down Arthur’s body.

“Next time I’m having this in me,” Merlin responds, reaching out for Arthur’s quite frankly gorgeous big cock.

“Next time?” Arthur is smirking down at Merlin. “Already planning round two?”

“Definitely.”

Words don’t happen so much after that as Merlin finally gets to put his mouth on Arthur’s cock, which he’s been wanting to do pretty much since he met him, even when he thought Arthur was just a massive tosser.

Arthur manages to produce lube from somewhere, thankfully not Valiant, and Merlin begins to work Arthur open. When he thinks Arthur is ready, Merlin reaches for one the condoms Arthur brought from downstairs.

Part of Merlin still expects to wake up any minute and realise that this was all in his imagination, because there is no way he can really be lying here in Arthur’s bed trying to open a condom with slippery fingers while Arthur laughs up at him.

“Come here, idiot,” Arthur says, taking a fresh one and opening it with ease before rolling it onto Merlin.

Merlin takes a moment to admire the sight of Arthur, wantonly splayed out on the bed, legs akimbo, dick flushed and hard.

“Merlin, if you don’t get down here and fuck me right now so help me I’ll start without you.”

“As you wish, Sire,” Merlin says with a grin as he spreads a little more lube over his covered cock and moves into position over Arthur.

It’s been a while since Merlin topped, what with his last boyfriend not liking to bottom and then being stupidly busy since starting at Once & Future. The feeling of sinking into Arthur is so good he has to pause a moment to make sure he doesn’t embarrass himself by coming straight away.

“Get on with it!” Arthur grinds down against him insistently.

“Dammit you’re a pushy bottom, Arthur.”

“And you’re a fucking tease.”

“Is that so?” Merlin pulls most of the way out and thrusts back in making Arthur groan.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Arthur asks, a challenge in his voice.

“I’m just getting started.”

Merlin sets a fast and hard pace after that. Once he discovers Arthur’s prostate he does his best to hit it every time.

He feels his balls tightening far sooner than he is ready for, and not even picturing some of the people down stairs can stop the inevitable. He wraps one hand around Arthur’s cock, determined to bring him off first.

Fortunately it doesn’t take much, and Arthur is coming over his own stomach with a shout. Merlin gladly lets go and comes too, taking care not to collapse down on top of Arthur, but withdrawing and rolling to the side instead.

“That was fucking brilliant,” Arthur says once he has his breath back. “We are definitely doing that again.”

“Ok, might have to wait a bit.”

“I’m going for a shower, coming?”

“Absolutely.”

 

Later that night, when they are both exhausted, sound asleep in Arthur’s giant bed, Morgana sticks her head round the door to check on them. Smiling to herself, she shuts the door and relocks it. “Sweet Dreams, Little Brother,” she whispers, before heading back to her own bed where her sister’s waiting.


End file.
